Dead Line

It’s probably inappropriate to conclude what has happened this year, even though the year is almost over. But so much has happened. This year a lot of people that I know personally, passed away. I’m unfortunate enough to have witnessed a lot of deaths in my life. I grew up seeing my whole family in great shape. Both my Grandparents from both side of my parents have been a great part of my life. I admit as a child, I used to think that death is like a figment of ones imagination and if it was true, it does not affect everyone. I remember when I was in 1^st grade my classmates used to talk about their grandparents, as to how many grandparents they have left and how it died and other petty stuffs kids talk about. Deep inside as I take part of that conversation, I felt so proud. Proud in a way that death will never hit my family. At least……

It was not later in my 6^th grade that my maternal grandmother died. Then when I was in High School my maternal grandfather died. Then when I was in college 3^rd year I suppose, my paternal grandfather died. It’s like seeing them fall one by one like a soldier gone to war and never came back. When this entire incident happened I felt like death or life in general has some sort of pattern. That in every chapter of my life I would always lost a valuable person. But I guess as you go along you’d realize a lot o things. Like life is all about uncertainty and randomness. Things happen as they happen. There’s no such thing as patterns or a line that needs to be followed. I sure miss them alright. Even until now I still have a clear memory of them in my head. Sometimes when I think about them I would still cry. Oh, how I greatly miss them.

Recently about a couple of weeks ago, our neighbor died after a year of battling from colon cancer. First she was diagnosed of ovarian cancer back in 08, then she became cancer free after half a year of Radiotherapy and Chemotherapy. 3 months passed she complaints of passing gas all the time and difficulty removing her bowel. When she had her medical checked up, she was diagnosed of colon cancer. She used to call my mother often and talk about her condition. I felt so sadden about her passing. She was 49 years old, a year older than my mother and her daughter and I were childhood friends. I can’t imagine what is life like without a mother; especially in such a tender age.

When we visited her wake, I felt more depressed seeing her lying in that coffin than seeing my grandparents in their coffins. Maybe it’s because somehow I have this notion that they are old, and that it’s more easier to accept their death.

I find death strange in a way. How it robs you when you’re asleep and how it surprises you when you’re awake. I am not afraid of death, it’s the nature of dying that I’m more afraid of. I know that when I had full field my purpose here on earth my life is over…. ready or not.

I would be very glad to meet our Creator. But for now, I can say that I haven’t yet accomplished that purpose. When the time came that I felt complete inside then I guess I’m close to that.

A messy life

Last night I went to my High School friend Birthday party. That was the first party/socialization I ever went to, for God knows how long. My social life is dead. Not because I’m one of those people that are obsessed with the virtual world. It’s just that there are so many things that are going on with my life right now. So many heart aches, so many frustrations to deal with. But I still do communicate with all of my friends, might it be through text or e-mail, but not to the extent that we see each other.

How ironic it is that they just live near by, yet we don’t see each other that often;

so back to the birthday party. The invitation was short notice. The Birthday party was last night and they invited me that night. I guess she was certain that I could come since my house is just walking distance from her house. At first I was reluctant to come, I was not really in the mood to go out (since when did I had the mood to go out?). After constant persuasion I did eventually come. I felt kinda guilty because every time they would ask me out I always say I’ll pass or maybe next time.

So I came and it turned out great. I met some of my old high school classmates. There was so many things to talk about. What’s going on with our lives and plans for the future. I never felt good in a long time; the way I felt last night. I felt so light…joyful… relieved. I know moment like this doesn’t last. I know that when I come home everything would be back as they are. GLUM.

It amazes me that everything that kills me also soothes me. I guess this is how things work for me. Every time I want something done and I put my mind, heart, soul, into it; it always turns out a fail. But whenever I do things unplanned or things that I’m not into it; it turns out great and I would end up loving it.

Oh life, why is it always hard and everyday is a constant struggle towards a better tomorrow.

White page

The heavy rain outside the window.
The wet and icy cold air. I envy so much that the sky is able to cry.
I'm advancing in solitude. I'd promised myself to win this world for you.
I've forgotten how long ago I last embrace you. I've no time for tears and no leeway for regrets.

Please forgive my persistence. In this world... at least you must try to understand me.
This time... let me wait in the night alone. From now on you'll be my only persistence.
Please don't forsake me Dear Lord. I loath to show you my affections, because I'm ashamed of all my sins. I hope you understand. If enduring much pain is the only way I could get a fraction to get near you. I would silently walk.

Curtain

Lately I've been winning battles left and right.
But even winners get wounded in the fight. People say that I'm amazing; I'm strong beyond my years. But they don't see the enemy staring next to me.

They don't know that I come running home when I fall down.
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around.

I drop my sword and cry for just a while. Coz deep inside this armor the warrior is the child.

Evolution

Dear Jesus,

If there is one thing that sounds totally ridiculous; it's girls that says will you marry me? and would carelessly throw themselves at someone better looking whom they don't even know personally or some "hot" guy from the movie which they happen to see in person. By the way, "hot" is one word that I appalled. I don’t like how most people use that word and put it out of context.

I understand that Teenage girls now a days re more liberated than we used to before. But geez, for goodness sake where are their brains at? I hope it didn’t went to their behinds. It is very disappointing that most girls are acting promiscuous and floozy. Maybe some girls are acting the same way on the past, but today it’s more of a trend. You hear one story after the other and it’s all the same.

Perhaps you could look down at us and might laugh at how stupid humans can sometimes be.

I think the irony of being a female is the idea that you’ll always have to wait. Wait till something happens, wait till he profess his feelings, wait till someone likes you, wait till someone acknowledge you. Wait…wait…wait…

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a feminist. We’re pretty much on the same page. I’m not being insensitive about women’s feelings. I reckon that every girl/woman/lady in the world have some sort of a link to each other; that we feel each others pain. Even a simple story as dysmenorrhea, all women can relate to. Still acting vulgar is one behavior every female should not resort to.

Sincerely,

Jen

Way too hard

Dear Jesus,

This is really something, I have put so much thought on. I have been thinking about this for so many weeks and I just want to get this off my chest. This would probably be the first time I'd talk to you about this (not even my close friends). I've always put my feelings in secrecy. In witch often times people that surrounds me think that I’m fine because I act like everything is alright even though I’m so crushed inside. But I don’t blame them for having such impression towards me.

All the pains and struggles and or happiness I have carried all these years are my own. I can’t show it to the world. I know I’m not perfect, but if there’s one thing in side of me that is pure that’s love. In fact, love is the only thing in this world that is absolute. I can not imagine anybody who can fake love- because if there is, that person is a sham. You know how many times I’ve been hurt and I admit that I have unintentionally hurt 3 people.

I know that you know how sorry I am. I guess there is no polite word to address rejection. Saying NO is already much and it depend how the receiver accepts it. I don’t know if how I would react if someday our path would cross, that would probably be one of the awkward moments. If ever they see me would they acknowledge my presence or would they look away and pretend that I’m a stranger… I really don’t know. I’m glad I don’t see them that much even though we live in one community.

I think it’s really good if you have some sort of foundation with someone. Like being friends rather than mere acquaintance because if for some reason you’re path diverts you tend not talk to each other anymore. It’s always good to have something to fall back into. I hope the number stops there, though I know I don’t control everything. I will try as much as possible to be no longer means of disappointment.

Sincerely,

Jen

Overwhelmed

Dear Jesus,

I thought external struggle is what I need to battle. I didn't realize that inner struggle is much more harder to combat. All my life, since I had gained consciousness of this world. A lot of people have been mean to me. Maybe because I was always a quiet kid. I know people are irritated by that. That is why when I come across people that are good to me; I have never been so thankful by the kindness that they showed me.

This has caused me so much pain even until now. So one day I decided, I will not allow anybody to hurt me. That I will surpass if not equal their behavior towards me.
Little did I know that I have turned myself into heartless being and that I am no worst than them.
It's hard to be coherent when you're clouded by you're emotions.

I'm so thankful with the kind of relationship I have with you now. You always keep me back on track and I know with you I will never be astray.

Some people say bad things about you. But that's their opinion, I have mine. I know that our relationship is completely pure and just. I don't have any reason to be angry at you.
I need not soul searching. I learn from life's everyday lessons. I have so much faith in what life teaches me. I realize a lot of things as day goes by. Life...death...karma...

I know that all roads leads to you Sir. Whatever happens to me, whatever will become of me. I will always be you're humble servant; fulfilling my life's purpose.
Till next time..

Sincerely,
Jenny

Awkward

Dear Jesus,

I went to see my friend Kristine last week and we agreed to meet at the cafe`. We haven't seen each other for a long time, so I was excited to see her. When I get there, I was surprise to see her with Earl another common friend of ours. So, since he is our friend he's presence did not bother me. It was not that long when I realize that there is something going on between them (I notice by the way they look at each other and through simple gestures). Although I heard from the past that they were dating and right then and there I somehow figured out that they are officially together (though Kristine haven't mentioned to me anything about them).

At the middle of the conversation, I asked Earl his number since I lost my old phone and I don't have his number in my new phone. I asked him in the most casual way (like an old friend does). There was no tension involved, I didn't even hesitate to ask. His "girlfriend" even over heard it.

Then he told me in his exact words: My number is not working.

???????

Now, what is that suppose to mean? I don't understand, but I tried to be understanding. So, I did not push it. Maybe he has a reason not to, maybe he's acting this way because he already have a "girlfriend", maybe out of respect to his girlfriend he does not want to be associated with girls. But for Christ sake I'm his friend. I'm no stranger. We even talk to the phone at night, back then and he'd used to ask for my advice about how to approach a girl and how profess you're feelings and stuff. I was not really the type to break up a happy home, that all I'm saying.

Trust me. Getting into a relationship is the least thing of my concern. Alas, our friendship has ended. At least for the time being. No communication, no nothing. I know Earl is a pious person, as I have always known him to be. They both are actually.

I'm pretty sure we'll catch up sometime.

Sincerely,
Jenny

Changes

Its hard for me to confide myself to anybody, unless they tell me more about themselves. Which made me come up with a letter type kind of a blog. Instead of me writing plainly, I think it would be better if I write it in a letter form. So, my succeeding blogs would have a starting line of: Dear Jesus. who else would I freely confide myself more, but to him.

Laceration of Dreams

>

When we were kids we used to have so many dreams and it kind of change as we progress. So I have listed my dreams, from the day I gained my consciousness, up till present.

Nun

I so wanted to become a nun when I was in grade school. I recon, this would be the only way I could be closer to God and repay Him, from all my sins. I though, that it would be nice to study God’s life and have a deep understanding of Christianity. Until I learned that, nuns live in a convent and lead a life of seclusion (away from family and friends, plus you don’t get to see them anytime you want). Then I digress from becoming one. I realized that, I could do all these by just becoming an ordinary person.

Priest

This is one of the spur of the moment dream. I was hearing a mass one Sunday morning and the priest (probably in his late 70’s) is delivering the most boring sermon. I can’t even understand what he’s saying coz he’s mumbling he’s words. I felt sorry for him though, I mean he’s too old to still able to hold a mass. How I wanted to take over his place and make the whole Eucharist buoyant. I am aware that there aren’t any FEMALE clergy, but hey! A dream is just a dream until you go for it. I’m not pushing it anyway.

Doctor

Now this is the only dream that hasn’t really changed over the course of time (even until now). The smell of sterility, the color white, and the very idea of being knowledgeable about life (literally) excites me. I love to work in a hospital someday. This is what I’ve seen my self doing in the near future.

Pilot

If aviation school wouldn’t be that frekin expensive, I could have been a pilot by now. I’ve always love the thought of flying.

Singer

Maybe I could still pursue this career someday. This is a God given talent; I can’t just leave it to rot. Though having a career in show business has too many uncertainties. Everything is a risk, being involved in the whole business realm.

Actor

I don’t have any idea why I have included this on the list. I’m not really after with the whole fame thing. As I have always prefer to working behind the limelight. I love how actors inspire people by the characters they portray. I hope someday I could play a role in a movie that would forever inspire people. Like the character Jaime Sullivan, in the movie A WALK TO REMEMBER, Frank Abagnale in the movie CATCH ME IF YOU CAN, Benjamin Button in the movie, THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON, Jamal Malik in the movie SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE, Chris Gardner in the movie THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS.

Heavy load

I felt like crying today. But I know that I can’t. I have learned how to hold back my tears for so many months now. The truth is that, my feminine sides never really cease to fail. It’s not that I want to be insensitive or something. It’s just hard to keep up with the boys sometimes. My brothers will never understand everything that I’m going through and I don’t expect them to do so. It’s either they’re too young to understand or too stupid not to.
All these time I’m always the one who reach out. I know I have to… they’re my family.

All these thoughts make my head ache and I think I’m going to have a coronary. Whenever I tried to profess my feelings towards things or just a mere thought of opinion, everybody thinks that I’m pulling out a drama queen mode (in which I don’t technically understand).
I’m very much consumed my all these mix emotions that I have. This makes me feel really incongruous inside. Why does it always have to be me?
Me do the laundry…me do the dishes… me MUST know how to cook.
Why is that?
Because I’m a girl??
Since when did gender become an issue when it comes to doing the chores?
I don’t only have to clean my room. I have to clean theirs too. Not because I was asked to, but because I want to. Every time I enter their room it’s always a mess and I can’t stand dirty places so I clean it up for them. How cool is that? See what I’m talking about?
Plus the fact that I always perform the tasks that was not asks of me to do. That kind of adds up to the whole dilemma.

1/8 of worlds pleasure

I unintentionally lost 5lbs in an amazing 4 days. I don't feel good about it. I felt so light... I think I am light. I admit it's my fault though. I barely eat these days. I don't like home cooked meals anymore; it's not nutritious. We barely had vegetables these days. I don't like to eat fried foods and pork as well (the latter doesn't have to do with the current outbreak) it's not nutritious. We barely had vegetables these days. Actually, I just want to pay more attention to my health and give my body a little bit of a favor. I'm gonna go vegan for about a week. Well maybe if I do good then, I could go for another week. Who knows?.
I've put in so much thought about this. I know this is a commitment I should make. In all seriousness I know this is tough for me, since I'm not really used to following a certain course meal. I would usually devour anything that's on the table. I was thinking of visiting my cousin in Hong Kong over the summer. In that case I could force myself in eating healthy foods with no word of protest. Even though majority of the Chinese foods smells like medicine (no offense though). I would be looking forward to eating tofu
and birds nest soup.
Basically it does not depict any taste at all. It seems like you're eating water... tasteless. I don't know how you could imagine eating water. But that's the closest taste I could relate it to. So let the trek begin. I hope I could progress with great sense of conviction.

Comes to a T

For the first time in approximately 16 years, I met Rachel. She was my classmate way back in kindergarten and she’s one of the mean Girls in school. On second thought, she’s the only mean girl that I can think of; that ever existed during my kindergarten days. I was surprise when I saw her, because she hasn’t change a bit. She still looks the same, exactly the way I last saw her 16 years ago, except the fact that she has gained height. Our eyes didn’t meet, but I know she saw me. I didn’t remember her name was Rachel not until I saw her name plate (I kept glancing on her name plate to get a better view of what’s written on it).

I could still remember the precise words she told me- one day during recess. She said: You don’t belong in this school (with matching akimbo position). Reminiscing those moments, it makes me pity her. At a very young age she’s experiencing emotions that are incongruous for a child; self-centered, insecure, brat, angst, jealousy. I was ignorant by all of those perplex emotions. That’s why I pity her because she was robbed by her childhood. A normal child wouldn’t act that way.

But the different between me meeting Rachel today and me meeting Rachel yesterday was that; I now know how to handle my self, I’m not overwhelmed by her very presence neither do I fret. I can look at her straight in to the eye and give her a calm look whilst she still looks mean. I think people who are mean tend to project an unpleasant aura. If somebody is mean to you just because they don’t like you; that is totally dumb and trashy.

It really feels different when somebody from you’re past meets up with you’re present.

Blah...blah...blah...

Boring!! Boring!! Boring!!
One obnoxious holiday coming up. Plus the fact that I've been deprived from using the computer because my freakin brothers are using it. Damn! that WORLD OF WARCRAFT.

How I wish...

I don't know what to do with my life anymore. Time really flies so fast, and it seems like the progress that I made is in slow motion. It seems like I have almost everything, but it's the feeling that there's something missing. Seriously, I don't know if there's something wrong with me. As each day pass I felt like my soul is being crushed. I know everything happens in God's time. I know that there's something in store for me in the future... something good... something better. I wish God will mend all the agony in no time, because I can't live another month like this.

It's torturing me. I know I have sinned a lot and all that sins pilling up makes everything much worse. Sometimes I just want to go somewhere and think over things; and have a close encounter with God. I've read in a certain book that says: Praying is the way of talking to God. While yoga is the way to listen. I've been considering this for a long time. I just don't know where to begin and how to begin. I think it's great to hear what God thinks about me. Maybe He's tired of letting me do all the talking. It would be grand to hear Him even just for once. There's no opinion that matters to me, than Him.

GOD PLEASE TALK TO ME.

Intervention

I've always been fascinated with the boys/men world. Growing up as a kid, it has always been me and my brother. He's one year ahead of me and I didn't had a hard time keeping up. We used to play with our cousins (whom are also males) during weekends. I has grown side by side with toys that are played by little boys, e.g Lego, robots, toy guns, action figures. The usual toys that were played during the 80's & 90's. I was never introduced to the world of dolls. I didn't even had a lot of stuff toys. I own a couple but that was it. My mom used to by me those tea cup set, which I am not fond of. Only because of one reason: I ain't got nobody to play with me with those kinda toys. I remember the first & the last time my father bought me a Barbe doll. During that time my 1st younger brother was already born. I think he was 3 or 4 back then. I left him in my room just to get something and when I came back, the doll's body parts were scattered on the floor. The only thing left was the doll's head attached to its body. When I came back and saw the mayhem that happened to the doll, I didn't feel anything. It was sort of mundane feeling. I was like: oh! ok. Looking back as a grown person now; most little girls would be totally upset... but not me.

Moving on...

During that time, I could say that I really become comfortable with the things around me. Even though there's an absence of feminine touch, I never had any identity crisis neither a desire to be somebody I'm not.

The fact that they are the only creatures that can do foolishness and still be able to wing it, and when there is a dispute; in most cases they just settle it right then and there. Which is different in the girls world, because everything has got to be tricky.
When it comes to clothing, they just put on their shirt & jeans and they're good to go. There is nothing more convenient than that. Plus they still manage to look good on simple things they put on. I felt sick seeing girls on their make up. I would totally understand if it's part of their job requirement or their going to a prom or something. But if you're going to school with you're make up on, that's really sick(I don't want to think that you only go to school to impress people with you're looks). The thing is, beauty should be effortless.
Emotion wise, male's are not showy. A lot of times they are not emotional. I haven't seen a man cry over petty stuffs. In which I learn how to become one. To take control of you're emotions and not let it interfere with you're decisions.

I am what I am. I accept things the way they are.

To kill a mocking bird

I just finished reading a book in titled TO KILL A MOCKING by Harper Lee. It has occurred to me that if every single person in this world would have only 1 teacher his/her whole life, I want Mr. Atticus Finch to be my teacher. I have never encountered such a character as Mr. Finch.

Now I'm caught up buying between Art of War by Sun Tzu or Animal Farm by George Orwell. I had heard a lot about this book when I was in High school, but I just didn't had the chance to own a copy. Every time I go to a book store I always end up buying a different book; the one that I'm not thinking of buying. But I hope this time I would be firm on sticking on my book list.

Transitory

I felt the urgency to leave this place, I've actually considered that many years ago. But I think now is the right time to do it. I am in the brink of facing another chapter of my life and I'm not getting any younger.
I've been here long for as long as I can remember and I don't want to stuck here my whole life.
It occurred to me that starting is more easier than getting out and that's the whole point of all this.

There's nothing left here for me. As soon as I'm done with college, I'll be out of here.
My life here totally sucks, it has been a constant repetition and I think I will lead a dreary life if I still linger.

I just wanted to see a different shade of the sun. But I know that, I shall not hurry things up.
It's all in God's time.

Cussing

I'm in dismay every time I hear my friends or somebody that I look up to says a profane words. Especially that F word. My mind can't really comprehend such a word. Now I don't care where that word came from or who invented it. I just don't want to hear such words.

This all started when I began following a bunch of youtubers on twitter. The people that I don't expect that would course turn out to be otherwise. I've always known them to be great kids; who are church goers and very active in community service.

Sometimes it's just easy for you to be persuade because every body is saying it or dong it and you wanna be one of those "cool" kids that say that kind of stuff. But the truth is, blasphemy is never cool and has never been. Sure you can say those word and just wing it.

It just simply shows what kind of education you have and how uneducated you can get.

It's not all about looking good to people. It's all about sticking to the values that you've learned along the road.
There is nothing more useful than applying to yourself all the things you've learned in life. It makes you grow as a person.

Gripping

Finally I had done what I've suppose to do weeks ago, and that is to unsubscribe to a few of subceriptions I made in youtube. But it turns out that, that few did not fit into the real context of fewness. From 186 subscriptions down to 86. Now that really cuts more than half of my subs but I don't mind. I guess I just loose interest in some or I don't find them intertaining anymore or they havent made any videos for about a year now and there's no use for me to still remain subscribed.

But the greater percentage of it all is loosing interest. Actually, I notice myself loosing interest in a lot of things these past few weeks.
I remember way back when I was new in this hole internet community (e.g youtube, skype, myspace, etc.) I would spend at least 8 hours in youtube for instance. Even though I felt that I should do something worthwhile rather than sitting downs and find things that please my eyes and ears. But that whole obsession was short lived. I never really had any obsession that lasted for a long time. None that I could remember.

Now I'm down to one thing. That my life is a total sore and is silently wrecking my soul.
I hope God will heed my call and put me back in track.

Disc

This past few weeks had been really tough, literally and figuratively speaking. I had quite a lot of hospital visits. In which I’m really not fond of doing. I’ve been recently diagnosed with contact dermatitis and at the same time I made acquaintance with the dynamic duo named: cold and cough (which altered my breathing and sleeping for days now). But in a scale of 1 to 5 and 5 would be the wellness level, I guess I’m in 3.5 level. Not so close, but close to ending this agony.

For the figurative side of this whole mumbo jumbo, there are a lot of life events that is killing me on the inside. Argh... I know I got to work this out myself. It’s ripping my soul apart. Damn!!! It sure does. It creates a conspiracy in my mind.

This is definitely one illness that’s hard to combat.

I wish that when I close my eyes right now and when I open it I’m in a different realm.

Oh, Jenny you can’t always just run to the exit. (That’s my alter ego speaking by the way).

Quiz

Got this from DudeNeedsaEeasOnUp
I have no idea why I'm filling up this quiz.
I guess I just love pretending like I'm being interviewed.

Username: banko99

Why did you pick it?:
it was supposed to be itsjenny, but it was taken then I tried itsjenny1 it was still taken so I was pissed and I end up making up a word that has no significance to ma at all.

Who did you first subscribe to?:
kevjumba

Who did you most recently subscribe to?:
meekakitty

What does your last text message say?:

"are you still alive? u haven't called me since December " -Kristine

Do you have any goals?: To go to med school and Hopefully become a Psychiatric Doctor.

What was the last thing you bought?: Honestly, I can't remember. Its probably been a long time that I really bought something, since I can't remember it anymore. :-/

Describe the person who posted this using one line?: He hates snuggies and is an artist.

Are you excited about anything?: Nope. This is probably the only feeling I haven't felt in years.

Do you have a crush? None for now.

Have you ever been drunk?: No. I abhor alcohol.

Who was the first Youtube you met in real life?: None. But I'm looking forward to meeting one someday.

Who was the last Youtuber you met in real life?: None at the moment.

Do you prefer day or night?: I'm a nocturnal. So that explains it.

Are you a member of any collab channels?: No. Most collab channels are getting boring. If you like see them every single time you logged in to youtube it gets pretty boring. Especially if they have nothing to talk about and complains about making a video and meeting the deadline.

Do you have a secret account?: A lot.

Do you believe in God?: No doubt, 100% YES

Which youtuber do you talk to the most?: None

Which Youtuber do you think makes the best videos?: Barats and Bereta, I'm recently fond of meekekitty and DudeNeedsaEaseOnUp is the only vlogger that makes long videos and dosen't bore you, thatzak, YouraverageAdam.

You may only subscrie to 5 channels and only watch their videos. who will they be?:
I can't really break it down to 5. All the channels that I have subscribed to are all great in their own perspective way.

Are you in a relationship?: No, I am not.

would you date a smoker?: No.

Where is your favourite place?: Renton, Washington

Are you a happy person?: I've got a happy disposition.

Would you kiss the person who posted this?: That would be awkward. :-#

What would you take to the desert island? : New York's national library, Walmart and Disney world

Do you prefer sun or snow?: I love the snow. But I don't like winter. It's gets depressing.

Who did you last speak to on the phone? My father

Who did you last text?: My brother

What are you doing tommorow?: Building my future :]

What is your favourite flavour of potato chips?: BBQ!

What size are your feet?: 7.5

What do you want?: Peace of mind.

What do you need?: God's presence in my life.

What do you remember?: EVERYTHING!

What do you wish?: I wish I have enough money to go to graduate school and I wish I don't worry a lot.

Confess: My greatest regret in life is watching 2 girls 1 cup. That video haunted to for weeks.

Honesty. Do you want people to anonymously post what they REALLY Think of you ?
I don't live for other people. They can think whatever they want to think, After all that is just a thought and It will not post a threat to me.

Git

I don't understand why would people in general, could afford to dis a dog out of there homes just because you can't take care of it anymore or the dogs worth to their lame lives had come to expire. That is the most rubbish excuse I ever heard. Owning a dog/adopting a dog requires full responsibility. It's like adopting a child and later on realizing OH!! I DON'T WANT TO BE A PARENT ANYMORE (such an absurd thing to do). Now this pathetic low less people changed their mind and wants to keep the dog because the dog saved their family's lives from the fire. Damn!! People need dramatic examples to shake them off from apathy.

Obnoxious

Sometimes when somebody asks you a question the best answer would be silence or not to tell the truth. Not because you're hiding something, but because you know those phonies won't understand it anyway. They just pretend they'd understand, but I've seen the looks on their face TOTALLY BOGUS.

A new Dawn

I'm so fortunate enough to live in this lifetime. To ba able to witness such Historic event in our country. Chills run down my spine as I watched the presidential inauguration. I have never felt so proud of any politician in my life. I totaly look up to him. He's such an eloquent speaker, well spoken, and have a great sense of conviction. Words can't really sum up the overwhelming feeling that I have now. On the other hand, I get anoyed by people who kept on saying the word CHANGE. There is no day that pass that I don't hear the word CHANGE. I mean, don't get me wrong I'm pro-Obama but I just don't wan't to be a CHANGE zombe.

I got to stop before I become a nuisance my self.

God speed America.