Heavy load

I felt like crying today. But I know that I can’t. I have learned how to hold back my tears for so many months now. The truth is that, my feminine sides never really cease to fail. It’s not that I want to be insensitive or something. It’s just hard to keep up with the boys sometimes. My brothers will never understand everything that I’m going through and I don’t expect them to do so. It’s either they’re too young to understand or too stupid not to.
All these time I’m always the one who reach out. I know I have to… they’re my family.

All these thoughts make my head ache and I think I’m going to have a coronary. Whenever I tried to profess my feelings towards things or just a mere thought of opinion, everybody thinks that I’m pulling out a drama queen mode (in which I don’t technically understand).
I’m very much consumed my all these mix emotions that I have. This makes me feel really incongruous inside. Why does it always have to be me?
Me do the laundry…me do the dishes… me MUST know how to cook.
Why is that?
Because I’m a girl??
Since when did gender become an issue when it comes to doing the chores?
I don’t only have to clean my room. I have to clean theirs too. Not because I was asked to, but because I want to. Every time I enter their room it’s always a mess and I can’t stand dirty places so I clean it up for them. How cool is that? See what I’m talking about?
Plus the fact that I always perform the tasks that was not asks of me to do. That kind of adds up to the whole dilemma.