Random Quotes

The man who doesn't read a book has no advantage over the man who can't read them.

I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

God made pot, man made beer; who do you trust?

It's not "when wild Animals Attack!!" It's when stupid people get bit

The bast way to become boring is to say everything

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans

Please don't smoke, There are so many cooler ways to die

Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they really pissed me off.

I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio station stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for.

Books are the blessed chloroform of mind.

There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the "up" button.

Seeing a murder on television will help work off one's antagonism and if you haven't got any antagonism, the commercials will give you some.

The roots of education are bitter but the fruits are sweet.

If you tell the truth, you don't have anything to remember.

There are no such things as strangers only friends we have not yet met.

The capacity to learn is a gift
The ability to learn is a skill
The willingness to learn is a choice

Marriage is so far off, I gotta have a lot of life to live, I've gotta have a lot of things to do. Marriage is something I want to do when I am in my 40's.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore...Dream...Discover