Full blown

Sometimes when you can't find a polite words to answer back, even how much you wanted to say something. The best thing to do is to keep silent. 

There are just so many things going on in my head at that time.

Even though how much I wanted to say: IS IT MY FAULT? THAT YOU BOOKED THE TICKET WITHOUT EVEN ASKING ME IF I’M GOOD TO GO?

But then again, you don’t talk like that to your superiors. These are not the type of words an educated person would spit, so I rest my case and let her blabber her mouth for 5 seconds.

It’s times like this that a curse word would come in handy. In hopes to end the hassle (on 2^nd thought it might escalate maters to its worst). Perhaps this is what you get when you got a daily dose of Eminem’s music. Its like a never ending vile thoughts that pops in your head once in a while (don’t get me wrong I love Eminem, he’s my hero… he’s music had fueled me through my darkest days).

I don’t hold grudges against nobody.

So let bygones be bygones.

Sometimes, you just feel tired, you feel weak and when you feel weak, you felt like you just wanna give up.
But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength and just pull that crap out of you and get that motivation to not give up and not be a quitter. No matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face. 

It's absurd, how people hang on every word. I'll probably never get the props I ever deserve. But I'll never be served, my spot is forever reserved. If I ever leave earth that would be the death of me first. Cause in my heart of hearts I know nothing could ever be worse. That's why I'm clever when I put together every verse. 

My thoughts are sporadic, I act like I'm an addict.

Till the roof comes off...Till the lights go out... Till my legs give out; can't shut my mouth.
Till the smoke clears out; am I high? perhaps. Ima rip this shit till my bone collapse. 

Rain makes everything better

I love cloudy mornings and the slow anticipation that buildings are gray. The hint and the whisper of thunder and the lightnings that crawls over my skin like an itch. 

I always feel my best when its raining outside. 

There's something about the way the street looks when it just rained seems like the street looks less crowded. 

Letter to God

Dear God,

I am sorry for being so near yet so far, sorry for pushing you away in my thoughts. For 2 years that I have been away, my mind has been clouded with mundane things around me.

Preoccupied by so many thoughts; I trusted no one else but me. Like a tree standing all alone in the middle of the desert. I have all the support system I need but I still fail to recognize that as a blessing from you.

I apologize for being so insensitive now. I guess this is what 2 years of being abroad (all alone) has made me become.

My soul has been numb by all the suffering and tolerance for all these years.

For trying to understand and adding insurmountable amount of patience… to humans… and to life itself…

Please harbor me in your loving arms again and never let me astray.

I humbly ask through Jesus name.