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Survivor is the sickest reality show I have ever seen. I can't afford to watch another episode. It makes me agitate whenever I'm watching it. I know that the nature of the game is to "outwit,outlast,outplay" each other. But, DAYUM does it bring the worst of everyone. I just hate seeing the players backstabbing each other in front of national television. Perhaps, backstabbing is mundane in any reality show. But this one exceptional. It's like backstabbing to the 10th power. Basically this show does not promote anything.

Leavin

Now I'm at the JFK Airport and the plain is leaving in approximately an hour and a half to Hawaii.
It's really very depressing when you travel alone it seems like you're just there in one corner; watching people pass by while everyone is cheerfully talking to their friends or families or colleagues.
Geez, I totally hate this. But I know I got to do this. I need to fix my life. Just what Abraham Lincoln said: If opportunity doesn't knock; build a door.

Hell yeah, that's what I'm doing. What is even more dreadful is the fact that, I'm leaving this place for a long period of time. I'm thinking about Lassy (my dog). She always sleeps with me. But now, I couldn't imagine her sleeping in my bed without me.

Well I guess sometimes we need to make sacrifices. I didn't had the chance to bid goodbye to my little bothers (I left home when they're still at school).

My mother gave me 10 Grand; I felt so sad that she gave me money for this trip. It just felt depressing when somebody gave me money; Especially MY MOTHER. It's so depressing to think that you'll be spending that money that that person had worked hard for.

I'll be back soon... of course I will.

Community work

There is nothing more fulfilling than volunteering or helping in every way possible. I got so many things lined up for charity work. Like:

-Donate money to the home for the aged.

-Help children in Afghanistan with their basic needs.

-Organize a feeding program to the children of Cambodia.

-Be able to sponsor students who can’t afford to go to College.

-Save Dogs from maltreatment.

-Volunteer for Kefalonia Dolphin & Underwater research Program in Greece.

I know it sounds ambitious but, all through out this life time I want to give something back to society/community and society/community does not limit to the place where we live but to the world in general. I will commit my self to accomplish at least 2 from the list.

Responsibility

Recently I realize how tiring, depressing and mind bugling adults world is. Not that I’m that old but, I’m close to becoming one. I mean I’d be having my own credit card soon, I’d be the one paying the bills, work for a living, pay taxes, and last but not the least; dealing with lots and lots of documents. Which I think is harder than the rest all combined. Keeping up with monthly dues is a big responsibility and I can feel that big responsibility coming. My mother is not getting any younger and there are some things that she can’t do anymore; so I kind of a fill that up for her. Now I understand why adults world is full of serious stuff. And I’m just going to live with it. I guess we all are. I have to brace my self to this adulthood thing. Although sometimes it scares me to think that I'll be leaving home soon in order to pursue a career and earn for a living as well.

Addiction

I love this song. I know it's a bit old, but I don't mind.

Church!!!

Every Sunday it's a family's protocol to hear a mass (for at least once a week). But lately, actually for about a month or 2 now. I wasn't able to (I have a reasonable reason though). So my mother thinks; somethings wrong with me because I haven't heard a mass for so long (for all she know). God, if she only knows that I'm hearing a mass at least twice a week. If she only knows that, the day she thinks I'm in school is the day that I'm in church. But I don't want to tell her that. In fact it's better that nobody knows. I think when it comes to dealing with God the gestures must be mutual. I'm in good terms with God and I'll just leave it that way.

Things I am thankful of... =)

To:

Life- the greatest gift of all. That when I wake up each morning, I know that God has given me another chance to live, a chance to touch somebody’s life, chance to be of aid to anyone, and a chance to better myself as God’s child.

Wisdom- to be able to gain and have basic knowledge of almost everything is a privileged.

Sanity- that in spite of so many bazaar things that occurred to me, I was still able to think clearly and react accordingly.

Education- being able to go to school and finish schooling is a privileged, because not everyone has the opportunity to go to school.

Friendship- the most essential gift you could ever receive. I can’t imagine one’s life having no friends at all. It must have been pretty lonely.

Family- friends may come and go, but family is the most important people in someone’s life. Whatever happens to you, whatever will become of you. Family is the wind beneath our wings.

Wind/Breeze- the way it brushes my air, the way it touches my face. I felt serene deep inside.

Dogs- whenever I feel sad or angry or bored and if I see a dog all these negative emotions vanished. Surely, dogs are my kryptonite. I thank God for these creatures.

Beatles- to their enormous contribution to the music industry.

Youtube- the most entertaining site of all time. Plus you got to know amazing and cool people as well (what a complete package).

I guess if one’s life is a series of repetition and you see the same thins all day, all year round. You tend to neglect the very things that compose you’re day. Like the beautiful flowers at the park, the grand architecture of buildings and houses that adds up to the beauty of a community. The first time you see something that amuses you’re eye; you applaud to its appearance. Yet as time passes by all the grandeur of the place turns out to be nothing but ordinary. My teacher in Theology once said: We tend to forget the minute things that comprise living. That really struck me, because here I am whining about all my discomforts yet there are lot of reasons to be grateful.

Username

Now this is something that’s bothering me every time I’m creating an account. Coz most of the time I wanted my username to be plain and simple like using just my name, but it always turns out to be “unavailable” or “taken” and that kind of pisses me off. Because that means I need to think of a cool word to represent me and that cool word often turns out to be a disaster word. I as always resort to, out of this world words (in which I really regret). Like for instance; my username in youtube. That word doesn’t even exist; it doesn’t have any significance to me on whatsoever. But, Geeeezz that’s life guess I’m not alone huh?

Intro

Hi my name is Jen and I’m 21 yrs old (almost 22) and I don’t have any idea as to why am I saying this. This supposed to be a Blog not a slum book. Oh well, I do have a youtube account and I’ve been a youtuber for a year and several months now. My youtube name is “banko99” well I’m not saying this so you could subscribe (please don’t I encourage you not to) it won’t benefit us either way. But I enjoy all my subscriptions though. I am pretty content by just watching them. Even though I don’t know them personally I think that they are talented insane people. So I guess this is a start of my blogging career. I wish I could work out on my laziness so I could write more and better my self by not being lazy.