It's getting cold

It is so hard to hold on to something that you know you don’t have any future with and don’t have any past nor any present. This is exactly how I felt now. There was this guy at the camp (it was actually a 8 days survival training camp) that I like and today is our 6th day on training. Which is actually ridiculous because I got only 2 days left to see him. I didn’t realize that I liked him until yesterday, guess it was to late. I don’t know, maybe its better this way. After 2 days I would not be seeing him and this hole thing that I felt would just completely fade. This morning when I arrived at the usual meeting place I was the one who made the first move. I smiled and greeted him and which was reciprocated; I felt good about that. I thought that simple gesture would served as an ice breaker, but I was very wrong. Lunch passed and still no single word from him until 3 PM that we were about to be dismissed still nothing. In a greater sense I always try to understand men. I know that most of them are shy when it comes to situations like this. But I don’t know this one, I don’t have any clue. Sometimes during lectures I would caught him looking at me or there are times that I was the one looking at him. There would be instances that our eyes would meet and I would be the first one to look away. Geez, I just hate this!!! I hate the fact his clouding up my mind and I can’t think clearly. This is one of the reasons why I always follow my logical thoughts rather than what my heart tells me. I have a sound mind than a sound heart. That’s just how things work for me.